There’s nothing like new motherhood to bring on waves of advice and tips. I’m lucky to have a lot of amazing women around to answer questions like, “is projectile vomit normal?”, “how do you get poop out of a boppy?” and “did Honest diapers leak EVERY TIME for you, too?” (Answers: yes, throw it in the washer and no. Apparently that’s just us.)
Motherhood is like a secret club that you have no idea exists until you’re suddenly a part of it. Over the past 11 months, I’ve reconnected with old friends, made new connections with associates that I’ve never been close to, and found commonalities with complete strangers.
I think it’s such a crazy ride that everyone that’s been through it wants to share their experience and tips. While you can drown in things you “should” be doing or “have” to buy, it’s ultimately up to you to take what works for you and leave the rest. Babies are tiny, quirky little individuals, after all — so there’s no advice that works for everyone.
That said, there are a few things that have stuck with me and that I’ve found true time and time again in the last 6 weeks. Here’s what’s working for us:
A friend told me this while I was pregnant and I remember thinking, surely I’ll be able to do both! And honestly, most days I’m fine on both fronts. But on the days that are a little hairier, taking a shower makes me feel refreshed and more human. Chances are, I’ll be tired no matter what. So if naptime is looking at risk and I only have 30 minutes — I’d rather spend the rest of the day NOT covered in spit-up. It’s better for my mental health!
Our cleaning lady offered up this advice when she asked how Hudson was doing in the early days and I said fine, but that he woke up often from naps. She said that with her babies, she always had to burp them THREE times to be sure they were gas-free and good to go for a nap. I can rarely get Hudson to burp three times, but this has stuck with me — a little extra effort never hurt anyone, and it can mean the difference between a 45 minute nap and a 1.5 hour nap.
(And on the unsolicited feedback front: she also casually mentioned that he may be eating too much based on the size of his baby rolls. Eye roll! A prime example of take it or leave it — I’m leaving that one riiiiight there.)
Jason and I both like to be prepared and took four baby classes before Hudson showed up. In one of the classes, the instructor said: “remember that it’s tough to be a baby!” We are SO lucky that Hudson is not much of a crier, but when he does cry for seemingly no reason, this advice always comes back to me. Imagine not being able to communicate how you’re feeling or what you need! Keeping this in mind always helps me find extra patience and empathy for our little dude.
My friend Raechelle is like my sister from another mother, and has been a godsend with new mom advice and tips in these early days. When Hudson was born, she texted asking how I was doing, and I responded how crazy I found it that 2 weeks had gone by and I’d barely left the house. She replied: “get dressed, put on some makeup and do your hair, even if you’re just at home!” The point here is obviously not looking good for your baby, (as much as I’m sure Hudson would have appreciated a little concealer for the dark circles that he was staring at all day) and not everyone is into makeup. The point was that she knows me, and she knows that feeling a little more like my pre-baby self would help ease the transition from just Laura to new-mom-Laura in the disorienting early days.
A family friend shared this one with me after her daughter purchased some really nice nursing gear but ended up loving the inexpensive Target stuff the most.
I’m glad she said that and I didn’t go crazy buying a bunch of nice things. Babies are sticky, pukey little creatures. Lovable, but sticky. So, Target bras all the way. I’d rather save my money for things that look good on the outside, because the only criteria for good nursing bras for me at the moment is machine-washability.
This one came out of nowhere and makes me tear up just at the thought. I’ve been attending a weekly new moms group and last week the topic was postpartum depression and mental health. The conversation got pretty deep as the group shared their struggles adjusting to new parenthood. One woman comforted another by saying, “remember that everything is temporary. The things that you want to change quickly will seem to take forever, and the things that you want to hold on to will eventually slip away.”
This is so heartbreakingly true. I am SO impatient for a full night’s sleep and I have no idea how far off that is… but eventually, I’ll sleep through the night again — it’s just temporary. On the flip side, Jason and I look at Hudson and say that we’d give anything to stay in this time with our little baby forever… but this stage is just temporary, and he’s growing and changing every day.
Remembering that everything is temporary helps in the hard times and makes the good moments even sweeter.
These six tips (and others!) helped us get through the last six weeks. What new mom advice have you found to be true?